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NOW THAT’S TOTALLY STUPID, STRANGE, WEIRD AND YET REAL. BUT THAT’S THE WAY IT IS.

Join me on a journey. A journey that will take you from here, from Lünen, a small town somewhere in Germany, from elsewhere, out into the void of space; into the backyards of a nameless city, into the garden of a mad professor, spellbound by the power of a meteor. Accompany the hapless cake master Dave through a valley of torment and mutilation, follow Toertchen, the brave and beautiful princess on her mission to save the planet and witness her miraculous transformation – witness how a star presenter, the professor and even Dave himself lose their lives in gruesome ways.
You can expect insidious murders in the finest style of splatter, severed limbs, but also pure romance and great emotions. Just like in real life.
It’s just real. As real and true as the princess.

Available in many bookshops and online retailers after publication.

»I WON’T BACK UP!«

TÖRTCHEN

Not only is she a princess and holder of the honorary title of „Ambassador of French Pastry 1993“, she is also Lünen’s first astronaut, whose mission is nothing less than to save the planet from a meteorite impact. „I won’t back down,“ is the motto of the courageous princess, who will, however, transform herself in the course of things.

DAVE

The tragic hero, a cake master and amateur chef. He has had a crush on the princess, Luenen’s first astronaut, ever since he was able to listen to the radio. After his freshly baked cakes, french Madeleines, were stolen from the windowsill and he rushed after the thieving dog, he was lured into a trap and captured.

PROF. GYÖRYKISS

Under the spell of the meteor and obsessed with cakes, he forces the cake master to create new delicacies for him every night. But that’s not all, because he is increasingly mutilating the cake master to prevent him from making contact with the princess, the astronaut. His nasty figure in a nightdress shows no mercy and no torture is bad enough for him.

YOUR TIME FOR GREAT FEELINGS

Follow tracks such as „Call Me“ and „Dangerous Dreams“ by LeBrock and other retro wave pieces at the marked points on the pages and immerse yourself in the neon decade of the 80s. But that’s by no means enough analog interactivity…

SPECIAL GUEST

I’m particularly honored to have star presenter and drift king Benny Hansman from his eponymous „The Benny Hansman Show“ as an investigative reporter tryna find out about the strange events. He sets off through the night in his roaring V8, only to fail because of a banana.

»unconditional for sure!«

HERR LENZ

For almost three years, I have been following Dave’s life and suffering like no other. And yet, in the end, I too am just a spectator. Because fate is omnipresent. This book is far more than a bunch of grotesque motifs; this book is an important personal concern.

ADDRESS

DE-45661 Recklinghausen, 128 Hochstrasse

PHONE

+49 zeroonefive 770589

MAIL

hallo@koljalenz.com